


A Healing Touch

by Taeflowerxx



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-16 23:26:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15448197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taeflowerxx/pseuds/Taeflowerxx
Summary: It's hard being the only loser in high school. Especially while crushing on one of the most popular guys in the school. If only they could make it a little easier to survive in high school. And even with all of that, I still have Doubt trying to convince me to commit suicide... this is going to be a hella rough ride.





	1. Before I Fall (Pt.1)

Hey! Wake up, you idiot, spits the voice in my head, spiteful. His name is Doubt. We know each other pretty well, not like I see him as a friend... or anything.

He's always there, listening to my thoughts as if he were some pet fish or whatever. It was almost as if I could feel him grimacing at the thought.

I'm not here to be your little pet fish. I'm here to show you how insane you really are. Why not give in to the voices that whisper in your ear? Doubt asked, a slight hiss in his voice. I gave in, and here I am now, he chuckles, trying to help your sad ass.

With a groan of annoyance, I roll out of bed and onto my feet. "I don't need you here, so why not just leave?" I mutter, ignoring his exaggerated sigh, I don't get to choose my life. So, just shut up, Doubt hissed yet again, hurry and get dressed, you're going to be late for school.

So, with Doubt's voice still echoing in my ears, I walk to my closet and get ready to leave.

♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡

Holding onto my books tightly with both hands, I stalk carefully towards the entrance of my school. Greenwood High, one of the most horrible places to be in the week. Or really, at any time.

Clusters of long-haired girls stood in the corridors, gossiping. A few familiar people glanced back at me and sneered with their lipstick plastered lips. Still, I ignored them. Who cares if they treat me badly... the teachers love them and hate me. It's not like I can do anything about it.

Yeah, my name's Deruca. Deruca Wolfstein. And if I'm not the most hated person at this school, I don't know who is, because pretty much every morning I'm laughed at and pushed around by many different people.

This school is probably the worst place to be, but I come here for one person. Him. That one guy who always walks by me and smiles.

Not with hatred clear in his eyes, but warm sincerity. I don't know his name. All I know is that the sparks in his eyes are like the fireworks I wish I had seen as a kid, and that he's...well, popular. Friends with almost everyone in the school.

Deruca. Don't be stupid. You're never going to get with him... just jump off the roof while you still can, whispered Doubt. There was a hint of sympathy in his gentle voice. For once it wasn't just desperation.

Doubt is only stuck with me because of his past life. Pretty much, he murdered for a living, and died in a car-crash. Hey, it's a long story, and honestly... I only know the start of it. It's not my job to go nosing around in people's business. That's Doubt's job.

Hey! I was trying to be nice. Doubt grumbled, voice fading. I guess I'll do you a favour and be quiet for a few minutes... 

Soon enough, it was silent. No Doubt grumbling and mumbling in the back of my head. Just... silence. Thank god. A shout echoes down the hallway, "HEY, DERUCA, GET YOUR ASS IN THE CLASSROOM!!" they yelled. Oh no, it's the principal.

Goddammit, that stupid lady is always trying to find out about my past life. Yeah, my parents died and I live alone now, but that doesn't give her the right to butt in! Sighing, I turn around and begin to walk to class, mumbling. "Okay. Sure." and things along those lines. 

♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡

There he is... sitting across from me... in his seat.

Oh god, he's so beautiful. The way he runs his hand through his hair...

The way his eyes sparkle whenever he smiles...

Ahh... I love him... everything about him makes me feel like I'm going crazy!

Suddenly, there was laughing. Disgusting laughing. From the same damn people! Why can't they learn to mind their own business??

"DERUCA! DERUCA WOLFSTEIN!" 

I hear the teacher yelling my name and jolt upright in my seat. "Y-yes, miss, I-I'm here..." I mumble, before the teacher continues, a frown on her face.

"Stop staring at Hamish and pay attention," she huffs, turning back to the blackboard, chalk screeching as she presses it violently against the board and drags it down to form letters and numbers. 

Hamish turns around and winks at me, ignoring the disgusted gasps from girls at the back. The loudest one was from... Riza. Obviously. 

Hey, Deruca. When are you going to learn that staring at people in the middle of class is a bad idea?! Self-hate exclaims in annoyance. Oh yeah, I forgot. Whenever Doubt leaves, Self-hate comes. Where did they come from? 

I have no idea. All I know is that they appeared in my head, and talk to me. Unlike some people, who just make up the fact that there are voices inside their heads.

I always hear whispers. Little indications that I might indeed be going insane, like Doubt said. You know, at least Doubt is a decent person, unlike Depression and Fear. 

. . .

I wish people understood what it's like. People think that depression is a joke. That being suicidal means you're weak. They think that being gay means you can tease them without having consequences, since they're 'different '

Well... Depression isn't a joke. Being suicidal doesn't mean you're weak, and just because someone's gay, doesn't mean you can treat them as if they don't have feelings! 

I'm so sick of everything, if only it could all just... go away. Mhm, see what I was talking about before, Deruca? Life is a bummer, but death is the thing that can save us all~ Depression purred

Who needs to live to be happy? I'm dead, and I'm still as happy as can be~! she said happily, ignoring my noises of protest. And that Hamish boy isn't worth your time, girl~ There are better demon's than him down here (;P) 

I groaned and slid onto the floor, head in my hands. "Go away. I can't deal with you right now... Please." I begged, ignoring the presence I could feel. Someone is looming above me, either hoping to frighten me or 'help' me. Fine. Good luck~ Depression laughed in amusement before leaving me.

This is when Fear kicked in. As I hesitantly raise my head to meet eye-to-eye with...

Hamish.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey... Uhm, you're Deruca, aren't you?" Hamish asked, rubbing the back of his neck. When I don't answer, he hesitates before continuing, "I...just want to know if you're okay," Hamish mumbles, holding out a hand. "and.. maybe if you'd like to go for a quick walk with me?" 

With a blink, I nod, and take his hand. "Sure," I spoke for the first time...to him, anyways. Smiling, he pulled me outside. As he exited the school, his pace increased. "H-hamish-" I stammer, being dragged along after him.

"Slow down!" I exclaimed after a moment, pulling on his arm. "Sorry, Deruca, I can't slow down." Hamish puffs, "They're coming." 

Without an explanation, I let myself be dragged away from the school I've been in for the last three years. Well, you're stuffed. laughs Doubt. Yeah, your ugly face has gotten mixed up in some shit! howled Depression

You would have been better off jumping from the roof of your house~ she laughed yet again. Sighing, I stopped moving my feet. "I can't keep going this way, Hamish." I said, looking up into his sparkling blue eyes. "I just want to give up." I whispered. Hamish sighed, his eyes becoming slightly more gentle.

"Sorry... but we can talk after this, Deru." Hamish grunted, eyes suddenly piercing through me, staring straight into my soul. "This is a life-or-death chase." he stated, picking me up and sprinting towards the van in front of us. 

Soon enough, I found myself inside of said van, speeding off at around 160km/h. "Oh sHIT!" I shouted, bashing my head against the wall and groaning. "What's so important about me not getting caught by them...?" I questioned, wincing as I held my head gently. 

"I don't want you to die. Not after all you've been through." Hamish says vaguely, as if he knows everything. "I get you. I know how it feels. Just hold on, Deru." he looked at me and offered a small grin. "I'll protect you. So hold on." 

A gunshot is heard and I look into the front of the van to see that Hamish had let go of the wheel and was holding a gun in his hand. My eyes widen as he reels back, gun flying out of his hand due to a bullet that hit it. "Shit!" Hamish cursed, hands back on the wheel.

"Deru! Give me the gun in the back." He orders, holding one of his hands into the back of the van. I scrambled around in the back of the van, spotting the gun. As I desperately reach out for it, a rough turn throws me against the wall again. My eyesight faded for a second, You aren't going to survive this, Fear whispered inside my head, just... give up. 

Suddenly, an un-explainable emotion rushed through me. With the last of my strength, I grasped the gun and thrust it violently into Hamish's hand. 

. . . 

Groaning, I slowly opened my eyes. My head hurts so much... What happened? After a few minutes of laying and blankly staring at the ceiling, everything rushed back and I jolted upright. "Hamish?" I called out, wincing at the pain in my head. I heard footsteps, and suddenly, he was there. "Oh, you're awake." he mumbled, before smiling, "Good morning, Deru." 

With a confused expression, I asked him: "But... School just finished...?" 

"No, you were knocked out," Hamish said, looking into my green, sparkling eyes, "by the way, you gave me the gun just in time." he chuckled lightly. I cocked my head to the side in question, wincing once more at the pain. "Stop moving your head, you'll only hurt yourself more," he sighed, sitting down on the bed.

"I'll tell you what happened," Hamish spoke gently, taking my hand lightly in his own. 

"Hurry... before I fall." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WoAh that was SHORT-   
> Sorry people, I don't have a lot of time to write- bUT I STILL DID IT. SO HIP HIP HURRAY!

**Author's Note:**

> EYO EYO!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ZERO READS :3 LOLOL JK!!
> 
> YA'LL, I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER. I MEAN, THE BEST YEAR EVER!!
> 
> IF ANYTHING BAD HAPPENS I'M HERE FOR YOU!??!? 
> 
> THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING THIS... IT MEANS A LOT TO ME :D
> 
> and yes, all of this is what I experience pretty much everyday. It's getting better though, so don't worry!!
> 
> Btw, here's a list of the voices in Deruca's head and what they represent!
> 
> Depression: Obviously the feeling of not being wanted, being hated, and pretty much wanting to die since you feel all alone. A feeling of hopelessness, it's like you can't do anything. 
> 
> Fear: We experience this all the time. The most courageous of us all are the ones who fear everything. Fear is the feeling of ... well, fear. Being afraid of what's going to happen to you. 
> 
> Doubt: This... well, this is also self-doubt, something that weighs us all down, stops us from spreading our wings anD TAKING TO THE GODDAMN SKY WITH NO PLANS OF COMING BACK- yeah... doubt is when you don't trust yourself enough to believe that what you do is the right thing. Pretty much. 
> 
> Anxiety: NO! They haven't been mentioned yet. This is pretty much me trying to say that... we all have anxiety. Some have it really bad and some don't, but WE ARE the anxiety that haunts us so much. It's hard to explain, but if you really think about it, you'll understand~! 
> 
> and.. finally
> 
> Self-hate: this is the feeling of a strong disliking towards yourself; it could be because of your appearance, or your personality. But, whatever it is, you should never hate yourself, no matter what!! (I mean, unless you killed loads of people, were disgusting to them and told them to go kill themselves, then you probably should-) 
> 
> ANYWAYS, MY LOVELIES, THANKS FOR READING AND HAVE A GREAT DAY!! - Hami <3 
> 
> Oh, by the way, you can also find this on my Wattpad and my Quotev!   
> Wattpad: @xx_Hamiflower_xx  
> Quotev: @depressingpopato


End file.
